A Room of Your Own
We recently bought our house and are renovating it. When we first moved in, we
each had a room - D. has his studio and I my bookroom. Yet, my room was never very used, except by the cat who stayed it in during the day. Now, in the renovations, I've made it very nice; green walls and a comfy chair as well as all my books sorted nicely.
It's a great room.
I've noticed two things in this process. The first is that I don't want to have to share this room anymore. It's the room the cat stays in during the day and I'm no longer feeling totally comfortable with that. We've already begun a power struggle for the comfy chair, and his cuteness may be my downfall. I also noticed that my mom, when helping me organize the room, really seemed to want to organize it in a way that suited her - as if she was making up for not having one to organize for herself. She's been married 30 years, has a career she is successful in as well as three children and many many other accomplishments, labels and hobbies. Yet, I could sense her wistfulness to have a room of her own to decorate.
The quote from 'A Room of One's Own' by Virginia Woolf has eluded me. When searching, I have found it paraphrased that 'A Woman needs a room of ones own, with a lock and 500 pounds a year to write'. When searching for the quote I found the fact that Virginia Woolf built herself rooms while writing 'A Room of Ones Own'. I feel thrilled that I'm building my own room. I also feel the ever growing need to be selfish and not share this space that I have. I have my own space, in which to be creative, in which to be myself, in which I can read, write and dream.
I've seen advertisements lately that state "It might be her house, but it's your garage". They're aimed at men, and has to do with either watching sporting events, tools or beer. I'm not sure. Obviously, the thought is that men build houses but womyn decorate and own them, subjecting men to scarper to the garage where they have their own space. But what is the female equal to a garage? The house is a shared family place, yet, in our culture, the garage is primarily a male bolt-hole. Where do females go when they need a place?
Why is it that this exists? Does this inequality in 'rooms of one's own' exist in your life? Or do you and each member of your family - past and present - have their own space as well as a common space for all to come together? How do you define this space? Do you feel that this is a necessary space for you? Do you feel that females are more willing to compromise their space to nurture a space for others? And, if you could have your ideal room - space - that was all yours, how would it look?
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your comments : post a new comment
Hey, I finally did it! I'm the first to post a response! It is up here.
Posted by: Vic... on June 3, 2003 10:27 AM |
My post is up here.
Posted by: megan on June 3, 2003 05:10 PM |
My response to A Room Of Your Own is here.
Posted by: Kerri on June 3, 2003 07:53 PM |
It's a funny thing about space, and how much you take it for granted when living alone. Living only with my mom for years and years - brothers out of the house and father passed away, I never really thought about gender-divided space until I found myself living with men in college. Things went along smoothly, but I think there was definitely a "territory" established that was specifically NOT my jurisdiction.
I remember thinking about that idea of space for men in a house - beyond the common area, there is something bound to be a "male" area - a workroom in the basement, a garage, etc. This space, of course, was meant to entertain hobbies or intellectual interests, and was uniquely their own - something they could selfishly claim. In a way, this is understandable - most humans need their alone time, right?
But where do women's spaces exist in the average household? I'm afraid that mostly, they exist in terms of common areas, usually attached to some kind of service - the kitchen (preparing food), the living room (entertaining/cleaning), etc. If it's standard practice for men to have their own space, the assumption might be "well, the kitchen is your space". But, as I said, the kitchen is a place of service, not of individual growth or devotion to one's own needs and interests - at least not traditionally.
Does this all point back to the fact that women are to give up their identity once they become "domestic"? Since, of course, their identity often "doesn't count" for much in the first place, but was just something they were doing to "pass the time" before they landed themselves in the middle of domestic bliss?
I'd love to see what others have to say. Great topic!
Posted by: Theresa on June 4, 2003 01:47 PM |
My answer's here. Sort of a sore spot for yours truly.
Posted by: revolution9 on June 4, 2003 03:41 PM |Posted by: Roni on June 4, 2003 05:54 PM |
Mine's up.
To summarize: if man's place is the garage, woman's is the bathroom. And maybe I'm more of a "corner of the sofa of one's own" kind of girl.
I don't think the contemporary interpretation is that a woman's identity is subsumed by the household, but rather that the household is an outer manifestation of the woman's identity. The end result (man in garage) is the same, but I think some of the reasons for that have changed.
Posted by: april on June 4, 2003 06:36 PM |
I think having a room of one's own is vitally important for all people to be able to express themselves creatively. Growing up every member of my family had their own room and even when I was a teenager my parents would not enter my room when I wasn't home. As far as home = woman goes I think that the home is definately still seen as the woman's sphere in our society. It is also still looked down upon for men to feel anything but apprehension towards the home, as if "escaping" it on the weekends is the only "natural" way for a man to feel. I'm speaking in stereotypes of course, but that is what socializes us and what the advertisers rely on to push product.
Posted by: Brigitte on June 5, 2003 12:41 PM |
Better late than never, right? My thoughts are posted here.
Posted by: Natalie on June 5, 2003 08:27 PM |
Mine is up here, but it doesn't really address the gender split so much as just stuff I've been thinking about to help my creative process along. I probably could have talked more about how my husband kind of expects us to be wired the same way in terms of being interruptible (and we are not) - but I just don't have it in my right now.
Posted by: drublood on June 5, 2003 09:06 PM |
less a reponse, more a collection of thoughts about various stuff in my mind at the moment (mainly, negotiating the transfer between different spaces, and making each your own)
Posted by: the absent student on June 6, 2003 08:32 PM |
Obviously the ads have been slogging though some thick stereotypes...
Posted by: Tamara on June 7, 2003 02:47 PM |
Tardy and random musings on space.
Posted by: sprhrgrl on June 9, 2003 03:07 AM |
Except that it's really here because I'm a winner.
Posted by: sprhrgrl on June 9, 2003 03:11 AM |
Response here
Posted by: Lore on June 17, 2003 11:55 PM |
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