Applying a femininization implies that the root word is masculine, not neutral, and that femaleness is an additive, not merely one possibility of the root's natural state. That is, if "poet" is used by itself, it's a neutral term. There's nothing in it that implies the gender of the individual in question. Once people become "poetesses," however, then the "poet" root, the default characteristic, becomes masculine, and femininity implies "otherness" or non-dominance, like having to point out that someone is black or gay because the default that people assume would be that they're white or straight. (My blood sugar's a little low at the moment... pardons begged if this doesn't make perfect sense.)

"Ette" itself rankles more than the others, to me. "Ette" is not merely a femininization, it's a diminuitive - the French root implies smallness or juvenility. Both characteristics that have been applied to women to depower them. Yuck.

I agree completely with House9. In my post, I added that there are social considerations for certain phrases, like "goddess" and "dominatrix" that add to the purely linguistic issues. Also, I'm taking the psychology of language acquisition right now, if anyone has any question related to early language development (we're still on word segmentation).

My response is here.

I think there may be potential to reclaim female endings as a form of honorific. In which case, I think we should use "-ix", because it sounds cooler and has less of a cute pat me on the head quality than "-ess" and "-ette". I'd happily be an actrix, for instance.

But I don't think that's what's behind the history of these suffixes, which colors the way they're used today. What I do think is that the designation of a professional by gender, when done only for women, assumes that men are the default value for any profession in which the gendered ending is used. It's a subtle linguistic way of differentiating a woman who "acts as" something that a man implicitly does.

I don't like "ette" because it is diminutive. As for "ess" and "ix", all they indicate to me is gender. It doesn't mean I'm less - if anything it means I'm more. I'm all for bending and blending gender in all it's myriad ways, but I'm not in favor of erasing it altogether. I pray to a Goddess whom I consider the Creatrix and those words have power for me that is unequaled by their masculine forms.

Finally posted my own response here

the intent behind the use of a word is as potent as the word itself.

I'd be willing to make a trade-off and be called a poetess if that meant that female writers were taken seriously and not given ridiculous introductions like "talented and beautiful," while male writers are described by their credentials. I'd be happy with female actors being called actresses if the Best Actress category was given as much respect as the Best Actor's...or if the actor's job was valued more than her Versace gown.

i wanted to express support for PJ's comment in her blog about divorce being a good thing (i couldn't find a way to leave this in her blog, sorry). it is far better for people (and the example they set for children, if they have them) to learn to demand healthy relationships than to submit to misery for fear of failure.

This is a very interesting topic for me. Something to point out is that English is actually derived from another language which, in its modern form, still utilizes gender endings, albeit in a more equitable manner: German. In German, as opposed to French and Spanish (which have 2 genders) there are 3 genders for nouns: Feminine, Neuter, and Masculine. Feminine nouns end in -e or -in (for professions that were historically male dominated), Neuter in -s or -es, and Masculine in -er or -r. In addition to these endings, the nouns also have a descriptive definite article preceding them: Fem = die, Neuter = das, and Mas = der. These prefixes suffixes are then merely added to the verb roots or professions to describe the individual. For example: Female actor= die Schauspielerin, Male actor= der Schauspieler, Female doctor= die Arztin, Male doctor= der Arzt.
Now an interesting point was made on an earlier post: What happens when a male works in a typically female job? Female nurse= die Krankenschwester, Male nurse= der Pfleger In this instance, there had to be a new male term created. Literally translated, Krankenschwester means "sickness sister". Therefore we couldn't have a male sickness sister.
One more interesting point that I would like to mention about our sister language is the use of neuter terms for children. The German language recognizes children as neuter entities until their teen years, when they come of age. For example: das Kind= the child, das Mädchen= the girl.