I think we are designed to all live alone in our own places, and just go next door for tea or conjugal visits.

Class might play as large of a role as gender in cohabiting, and so, lesbian couples might not be in domestic bliss for that reason.
Great topic Brigitte!

Just a quick question. If there is more inherent equality in lesbian relationships, does that mean that there is a corresponding lessening of inherent equality in gay relationships? If paired women are the ones who can treat others as equals, then do paired men create substantially un equal partners? Or are you suggesting that it is the mixing of genders which leads to inequality?

This is a very interesting and thought-provoking question. My response is too long to post, so here's a link to my journal entry:     But, can we live together?l

So far I have not been able to figure out the formula. No matter how much I assert myself as a feminist, the male/female cohabitation thing has always been unequal.

I am a homebody and extremely clean, so I naturally like to be domestic. I begin to resent things, however, when there is a man around that I am picking up after. I hate that I have to even bring it up. My ex (who didn't even live with me) would behave like a proud schoolboy when he would do my dishes or pout about having to make the bed if he was the last one out of it. We are both mature, ambitious adults but damn if we didn't digress when it came to chores.

I have The Second Shift checked out from the library and intend to read it over spring break. It will probably frustrate the hell out of me. I agree with Kerri - a cup of tea and a conjugal visit sounds ideal. I was just discussing this topic with my friend two days ago.

Interesting topic.. good choice. :) My take on it, can be found in my journal.

Mine's finally up here

That's a good question Subversity raises about male same-sex couples. I don't know the answer to it, but for however it's relevant, I've heard (in my social welfare policy class; I didn't ask the prof her source, but I'd imagine it's a reasonably good one) that of lesbian couples, heterosexual couples, and gay male couples, gay male couples are most likely to have one partner work and the other stay home, followed by heterosexual couples. Does that mean less equality? I think it means a different power dynamic, whatever the implications.

Response posted.

Posted. I don't think living apart is the answer. I think we (all) need to try harder. And perhaps the people who can't shouldn't be breeding? ;)

Seriously, though, I think it's all about changing your model.

Oh, I'm curious about the impact of this issue for same-gender or non-pair families, but I don't know enough to even speculate what that might be.

An excerpt from my response: "So to sum up... Yes, male-female partnerships can live together, but it's work - just like everything else in life."

Mine's here, now I'm off to see what everyone else thought...