Pretty timely topic, as NOW's Love Your Body Day is coming right up on October 20.

I have a quirk of having a decent appreciation for how my body looks, but a severe disconnect from how it works. Will get more into this topic as a whole a little later.

The Grass is always greener...

I have suffered my entire life from the dichotomy between the body I was given (curvy, busty) and the image I bought into (Twiggy was the ubiquitous icon when I was becoming fashion-conscious in 7th & 8th grade). My taste in clothing has always been very tailored – I like to wear men’s jackets, for example – and my body has always betrayed me. And then, men were always were drawn to my large breasts; I have had to fend off ‘admirers’ and go thru the whole ‘My eyes are up here!’ number on more occasions than I care to recall. This had the effect of making me extremely self-conscious about meeting men, as well as highly suspicious of any man who wanted to engage me in conversation.

Good news/bad news: I turned 50 this year and a love affair gone bad sent me off on a wave of no strings attached liaisons, most with men considerably less than my age, but all of whom proclaimed me ‘hot.’ I don’t know if it’s death knocking on the door, a time of life when I’m ready to say ‘F*** it’ or what, but I’ve finally decided to accept that I have a sexy body and it’s not incompatible with my intelligence. I’m not proud of how it happened, but I’m pleased with the result: for the first time in my life, I’m actually comfortable in my skin.

I wish I had matured physically at a time when the current Drew Barrymore-style/baby fat figure was acceptable and I had been able to love and appreciate my body as it developed in spite of the fact that it didn’t fit the fashion runway ideal. Having delved into the demimonde of ‘casual encounters,’ I am more aware than ever of the various body types and various tastes of people in the real world: there’s someone out there who loves and appreciates large breasts and someone who loves and appreciates small; slim hips and wide, washboard stomachs and Rubenesque bellies. The tricky part, of course, is supporting each little girl in appreciating her own unique attributes without it being a function of approval from the outside world. No news here: if we love ourselves, we don’t need to worry how other feel about us.

Sidebar: My grandmother and I discussed the fact that she came of age in the flapper era and suffered from the same non-conformance to the skinny, flat-chested ideal that I did. Next lifetime, I want to be born with my body into another Rita Hayworth/Marilyn Monroe era.

I am currently okay with my body, although it is changing so much. I still battle with the cellulite thing. I'm thin, but not skinny. I look good in clothes and my mind is a more important asset to me. I eat pretty well, but I loooove donuts. I turned 35 this year and things are starting to wrinkle and go south but my inner confidence is on the rise.

I was at a party last night and it really bothered me that a bunch of women who are self-proclamed feminists were trashing on skinny girls. I find women of all shapes and sizes to be beautiful. Why this jealousy of skinny, modelesque women? These women have issues of their own. Heck we all do. Women need to support each other and celebrate each others quirks and beauties. It is ugly to me to hear women trashing on other women.

Alison, I'm SO glad you asked those questions!
Re: changed bodies after children...i always thought it so ironic that it took pregnancy to give me the breasts I always wanted...and then, shortly thereafter they totally flattened out!
But actually, I find that my 40's find me at peace with my physical self to a large degree...
The only pressure I (sometimes) succumb to is from my husband (totally brainwashed by the media as to how women should look, unfortunately)
But I feel media & cultural brainwashing is so utterly pervasive in this society, you really can't get away from it (sigh)...so I periodically try to lose the extra 30 lbs. I've packed on since birth of my last child about 12 yrs ago, but I love me more now then at just about any time of my life...I'd just really like to see the rest of this twisted culture finally get smart enough to realize it's not about what's on the outside!!

I consider myself fortunate to not have any serious body image issues. When I was about 13-15 I was extremely aware of having hairy arms and a bit of a mustache (why gloss over and call it "upper lip"?). I think that was more of being an adolescent and having this sudden awareness about my body and how others might view me. Now, I don't know. I've gotten past that by developing a nice little defensive attitude that screams, "If you are bothered by some physical imperfection, you are not worthy of my company."
I know that I am still hairy. I could wax or bleach or do some crazy laser removal thing, but basically it's too much trouble & there are other things I'd rather spend my money on, like plane fare. It's who I am. As of a few hours ago, I found out that a friend of mine has full blown AIDS. News like that is a good reminder for me that appearance is really unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

Stuff about me on my blog. More and more I've come to question whether we're doing (as feminists) all we could to make beauty and body image less of a concern for women. I don't have an answer, but...

As a 33 year old FTM, who is also the birth mother of two adolescent boys, I am always struck by how "body image" is a loaded topic no matter what angle it's viewed from.

I wrote a little about this on a new blog called "Intentional Embodiment."

My stock response is up here.

I'm still not sure if I've ever really be able to satisfactorily answer this issue to myself or to anyone else, so I've determined that it's something to be overcome by each individual, in her own way.

I'm technically obese (5'-4", around 190 pounds, size 16) and have been since I was a kid (I'm 35). I'm pear-shaped, with dark hair, brown eyes, and olive skin. My body image is decent. I'm aware that I don't fit the current ideal by a long shot, but it usually doesn't bother me. Why? I've looked the same way for a long time and have learned to appreciate it. I'm not a big consumer of mass media products. I exercise regularly, eat a healthy diet, and feel good physically. The men who are attracted to me like me as I am. When I see myself in the mirror, I think I look nice: solid, soft around the edges, pretty. As I've gotten older, my body image has improved more and more, along with my general level of confidence.

In a way, though, it doesn't really matter how I think I look, as long as my appearance doesn't affect how I live my life. It is not my most important characteristic.

I wish there were more positive images of a variety of types out there, though. When I was younger, I felt like some kind of alien; no one on TV or in the movies looked like me, not even the few fat characters (who were generally apple-shaped, middle aged, and asexual). The way I felt in my body (comfortable, capable) wasn't how I was supposed to feel (weak, awkward). I've been doing some photographic self portraits in order to create the kind of images that were missing when I was growing up, and at some point, I'll get around to finishing my web site and posting a few things.

I dislike plastic surgery and I don't watch the shows about it, but hey, it's a free country. I don't understand why people waste their money on SUVs, either. I guess they just lack imagination.

TY: Although I agree that trying to change one's body is a personal choice that should be respected, it's not correct to say that health problems always come along with "obesity." It's never been the case with me, anyway.

My response is up!

Wow. Sometimes I think that being (and always having been) big enough to feel that the cultural ideal just can't apply to you is a self-esteem advantage.

my response is up here, but i think i wandered off a bit too much.

I finally got my response up here.